I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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