id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
