I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
