I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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