somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
