oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
