Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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