I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
