I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
