I am full of burrito and curiosity
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
