people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
where am i from again
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize
