Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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