what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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