My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
