just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
