Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
