My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
