Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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