Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
