I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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