I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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