Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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