Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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