You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
