I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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