What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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