The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Ketchup is God's man juice
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
