I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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