Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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