"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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