The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
