then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
