no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm sobbing to NWA
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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