we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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