i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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