She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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