I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
