Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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