do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
