He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
