i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
