I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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