Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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