So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
