Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
