Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
