I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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