If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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