You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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