Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
