I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
