i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
