i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
