Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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